This was a while ago now but I wanted to share some of the stuff that I had written.
While I was just playing one day, I realised that I could finger pick!!
I started playing a sequence of chords (C G D) which flowed into a sequence of verses (C G D, C Em D).
This is song number 3 that I've written:
Chorus:
Spirit Move, make my body tremble
Spirit Move, make the mountains crumble
Verses (there's more):
Through the storm and through the fire,
Let your peace consume my life
It brings me to a reflective place, looking on what God has done for me and how He has been a Father and then who God actually is and praising Him!
And when I played it, the Spirit really moved!
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Do you think you're better off alone?
Okay, so this is a title of a dance tune in the 1990's but who cares?!
This is the question I have found myself looking at recently.
For those who know me, i'm a very independent person, I trust my own judgement and know that "I can do it!" I've often wondered why cell and accountabilities have been labelled as crutial to our relationship with God. As I spoke to other people about this and most importantly my mum and mentor, it clicked that God does work in many ways and most significantly through people around me. By sharing my problems, I'm letting my guard down; for me, this is a big step. Being hurt in the past has led me to over protect myself now, having a fear that no one else will do it for me so I'm taking care of #1. Letting my guard down allows other people in, helping them to develop as they share with me their thoughts and feelings, sometimes using gifts of wisdom, discernment and patience. Through sharing, I benefit by feeling more protected and better supported but not only that, my action has helped someone else share, consequently helping someone further their relationship with God.
Half of my problem is that I'm scared of being judged. Christians are still human at the end of the day and despite their love and compassion, in the back of my mind I'm on edge, petrified that someone will mis-judge who I actually am and what I'm actually living for. But why am I so bothered about what people think? Do I seek dependence on the acceptance of others?
Over this past year, I have really understood and accepted GRACE; that God's love is boundless and freely given to everyone who accepts it no matter what or who you are now, were or will be. That led me to a place where I had to accept my life for what it was, with all the wonderful times and hard times. God's strength really is all we need which then I think I took too far and eradicated any form of help from my friends.
I know this will always be an issue for me; being hurt and judged in the past as led me to this place of protection and fear but I know that as much as I want to change and with the help of God will change, it was Him who helped me to see myself with sober judgement so I could grow and become more like Jesus.
However, as much as God can speak to us through people, it has become more and more apparant to me that so can the Devil. It was this time last year that a life changing event happened in my life and the same time the following year, devilish schemes are in motion, desperately trying to undo all the lessons I have learned this year to bring me to who and where I am today. My mum once said to me, "Sometimes, I go on with God not because I always feel like it, but just to spite the devil!" and that was exactly what I felt like just a few days ago! Pressure upon pressure upon pressure and the last thing I needed was this but I am determined not to let it get to me, stand firm and remain undefeated!
Passing the anger stage, it re-hit me again the importance of praying for those who have upset you etc. When this was first said to me, my typical human response followed but now, I want to pray for them.. I want God to intervene in their life so that they will continue to live by Him.
After reflecting on what I've written, I have yet again waffled and completely lost the point of what I was meant to be writing. I guess I'm trying to say that, just because God is everything, doesn't mean that the adequate resources He has given to us cannot be the vital connection between He and us.
This is the question I have found myself looking at recently.
For those who know me, i'm a very independent person, I trust my own judgement and know that "I can do it!" I've often wondered why cell and accountabilities have been labelled as crutial to our relationship with God. As I spoke to other people about this and most importantly my mum and mentor, it clicked that God does work in many ways and most significantly through people around me. By sharing my problems, I'm letting my guard down; for me, this is a big step. Being hurt in the past has led me to over protect myself now, having a fear that no one else will do it for me so I'm taking care of #1. Letting my guard down allows other people in, helping them to develop as they share with me their thoughts and feelings, sometimes using gifts of wisdom, discernment and patience. Through sharing, I benefit by feeling more protected and better supported but not only that, my action has helped someone else share, consequently helping someone further their relationship with God.
Half of my problem is that I'm scared of being judged. Christians are still human at the end of the day and despite their love and compassion, in the back of my mind I'm on edge, petrified that someone will mis-judge who I actually am and what I'm actually living for. But why am I so bothered about what people think? Do I seek dependence on the acceptance of others?
Over this past year, I have really understood and accepted GRACE; that God's love is boundless and freely given to everyone who accepts it no matter what or who you are now, were or will be. That led me to a place where I had to accept my life for what it was, with all the wonderful times and hard times. God's strength really is all we need which then I think I took too far and eradicated any form of help from my friends.
I know this will always be an issue for me; being hurt and judged in the past as led me to this place of protection and fear but I know that as much as I want to change and with the help of God will change, it was Him who helped me to see myself with sober judgement so I could grow and become more like Jesus.
However, as much as God can speak to us through people, it has become more and more apparant to me that so can the Devil. It was this time last year that a life changing event happened in my life and the same time the following year, devilish schemes are in motion, desperately trying to undo all the lessons I have learned this year to bring me to who and where I am today. My mum once said to me, "Sometimes, I go on with God not because I always feel like it, but just to spite the devil!" and that was exactly what I felt like just a few days ago! Pressure upon pressure upon pressure and the last thing I needed was this but I am determined not to let it get to me, stand firm and remain undefeated!
Passing the anger stage, it re-hit me again the importance of praying for those who have upset you etc. When this was first said to me, my typical human response followed but now, I want to pray for them.. I want God to intervene in their life so that they will continue to live by Him.
After reflecting on what I've written, I have yet again waffled and completely lost the point of what I was meant to be writing. I guess I'm trying to say that, just because God is everything, doesn't mean that the adequate resources He has given to us cannot be the vital connection between He and us.
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